smoke gets in your eyes

That morning I wept.....

I wept because I had lost my pain and was not accustomed to its absence.
Anais Nin

05/05/05

There was
something
about that
05/05/05
and everything
that surrounded
it
Something with
the ebb and
flow
Something about
the emotion
that spilled
over
and embedded
itself
in life blood
Something
that twinged
and eeked
and flowered

Whose mere
objective
was turmoil
and renaissance.

Friendship runs dancing through the world bringing to all of us summons to wake and sing its praises.

Thanksgiving 2007
8:00 am
Glazed Apple Lattice Coffee Cake
Starters
Roasted Hazelnuts with Thyme
Smoked Salmon Deviled Eggs
Roquefort Gouge’res
Dinner
2:00 pm
Herb Roasted Turkey
Cornbread, Andoille Sausage, fresh sage Dressing
Mashed Potatoes
Roasted Yams with citrus and coriander Butter
Green Bean Casserole
Cranberry Pear Chutney
Dessert
Spiced Pumpkin Layer Cake
Pumpkin Pie
Pecan Pie
Assorted Cookies
Please bring a beverage of your choice.

Minnesota
0

Green Bay
34

As my neighbor Robert says, "That game was over faster than a truckstop blowjob."

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.

Ode to my Mother-Donna Jean Beaubien

A profound sadness
has set over me

Perhaps it is solid evidence
of time passing

Or the thought that
makes it to the forefront
for me
this time
every year
That we are truly alone

Or that happiness is relative
and overated
and - yes -
fleeting

In this turmoil
I think of
Cedar Falls, Iowa
and Bartlett Hall
where
brown paper package
masking taped
arrived
and held a birthday cake

and the one who
celebrates this day
with me
whose voice hangs with my breath
states
I couldn't imagine having
a birthday
without
a cake

So-
in this absence of
intimacy

in the absence of
you giving up
more than
you have
for me

Knowing
Actually-not knowing-
what could make
me happy
or
perhaps-worse-
knowing
and not doing

This void has
opened up

But
reflecting
on unconditional
love greeting
with signs
and clothes laid out
and coffee made
for me
and words of
I had to do what I could do

There is a yes in that

In my stumbling
a surprise
is there
to utter

People who aren't generous
must be very fearful

and there it is

Still
no cake
no melting candles
no icing
no wish making

there is emptiness there

Emptiness in the
tell tell
signs
of distance making.

The following is a transcript of a voicemail I received from my friend David,

"I just saw a casualty of Halloween. A messy blonde wig lieing in a gutter and thought of you...."

Happy Halloween!